Life Advice: What I've Learnt in 2014



Hello you beautiful lot, how I've missed you!
It's nice to be back, admittedly I was part of this Christmas's 'Blogging Blackout'. I am aware I haven't uploaded content in 2 weeks, a week is a long time for me let alone 2!
However I just felt I needed the time not to think and worry about my content constantly. Life has been pretty manic, with my drama group's show, University/Internship application, coursework etc and it was important that I focus more on these, as well as my well being. So I'm back with many a post and even better content in 2015. There are another 2 parts to this post which are on different topics so stay tuned!
 I thought I'd give a low down on what life advice I have learnt this year. It's been a huge up and down year for me and you'll see why!



Those who mind don’t matter, those who matter don’t mind: 


Before starting this blog I was filled with anxiety. I still am, but this was a different type to the anxiety I feel now. This was a type where I was too scared to log onto Facebook or be seen as online on Facebook chat. I was genuinely terrified of social media in which people from my past were present on and were able to ‘see’ me on. I was petrified of answering text messages, DMs, comments. I didn’t feel like I was worth answering, making friends or sometimes just scared of replying.
Starting this blog was a huge milestone for me, as although those anxieties didn’t go away immediately, it was the spark I needed to overcome those utterly irrational fears. I was facing them dead on; I was sharing my life with not only my lovely online friends but REAL past/current friends. That was very daunting.
For the first few months I admittedly struggled, some days I could do it, others I couldn’t. Then at the end of September my boyfriend somehow gave me the motivation to just forget all those on and off anxieties and do everything I’ve ever wanted to do with my blog. Outfit posts, DIYS, even helping me practice for a YouTube channel I am starting in 2015.
I took a big deep breath and decided to just go for it, to not care what anyone thinks. I found those who matter don’t mind, however those who do, don’t matter.


Take a deep breath and go for it:

This is so important. SO SO important. I can’t stress how beneficial it can be for you, your mental health and future if you just go for things. So many opportunities will appear, meeting new people and happiness becomes more reachable. In the words of Zoella, ‘Just say yes’.



Grit your teeth and carry on - Make the best of it:

Life sucks, mental pain sucks, especially physical pain. This year I've had my highest physical pain, with new illnesses and hospital dates. Mental pain wise I was utterly destroyed from before January 1st and up until May time. Pain hurts. It's hard. It makes you feel hopeless. With physical pain comes mental pain.
There is no cure apart from yourself making the best of the situation, gritting your teeth and getting on with it.
'Pain doesn't go away, you just make room for it'. I beg to differ, you become braver, and although you remember that pain it slowly becomes bearable. All future pain becomes bearable. You become thicker skinned. Train yourself to be thick skinned, but still let yourself cry. Crying helps always.
One day you'll wake up and randomly realise how far you've come.



 Sometimes things happen for a reason, but most of the time, they don’t:

I am not one of those people who uses the saying 'everything happens for a reason' as a pacifier in hard times. Personally I think that is very blind to the reality that is life. It snows because it's cold, you get an A because you study, the bacon burns because you left it on grill for too long (I've actually done that). These things happen for a reason. Mental and physical pain tends to just be the harsh reality of a harsh life. I feel that once you realise this you can stop hoping for a relief and instead create and be the relief in the situation yourself.


Siblings have the potential to be your very best friends:

I have 2 younger sisters and despite having an age gap of 9 years with one, they are honestly becoming my best friends and favourite companions.
Sometimes we do want to rip each other apart, in fact I wanted to so badly decapitate one of them yesterday. If my mother wasn't around, I think I may have.
Honestly I can't stand them sometimes (often), I once even threw the Sky remote at one's head (that's a story for another day). One is so annoying and particular about germs and screams at you if you talk aka 'spit' around her when she's eating; however contradicts herself by never washing her hands and touching your food. The other one acts like Beyonce, expects you to get up and let her sit in your seat on the train despite her doll being on a free chair. But how can I not love them.
Siblings know your story, they've seen you without make up, they've seen you on the loo, they've seen you on your bad and good days, they've seen you have an emotional fit.
They are your back up singers, your teachers or students, your fashion guru, your minion, your dress up doll, your shopping buddy, your Call of Duty partner, your bitching buddy, your bitch about the other sibling buddy, your bitch about your parents buddy, your second wardrobe, your second bank, I'm going to stop now as I think you get the jist.

Don't let yourself fall out completely with your sibling, however annoying they are. They're the only guaranteed friend/s you'll have in life who have to see you occassionally at least. They're important, don't let go of them.


 At the end of the day only your family, one true friend and other half matter:

Your bestest friends can and may stab you in your back, shoulders, stomach, chin, finger etc (metaphorically speaking). Be prepared for a back stab from anyone, but continue to love and enjoy their company.
When these back stabs happen repeat over and over again in your head who really matters. Instead of being upset, channel that energy into loving your family, other half and that one true friend even more than you did before.


Just because you haven’t communicated with someone in a while does not mean they’re no longer your friend:

 Over this year I have lost many friends, not purposely, but due to lack of communication, distance or understanding. I've got to an age where people cut you out if you don't speak to them for more than 4/5 months, which I find a bit immature. They seem to forget that you are also human and have a stressful life like them. I respect my friendships but I tend to be quite closed off, I think some people are yet to understand that most people are like this. Second chances are important but that’s enough.
People change, give them a chance. Don't be immature and cut them off the moment they do something slightly wrong. People make mistakes, respect that, let them better themselves.
Don't be screwed over by giving any more than 3 chances, some people are just milking your attention.
Be selfish but also be empathetic.


 Experiences over material items:

Yes I love a good Chanel lipstick, but that could also fund an adventure to another city or even a Segway experience. Yes it's a hard one (I mean who doesn't adore Chanel?) but I'd much rather tell my grandchildren about that time I fell off a Segway or got lost for hours on the way to Bath, than that time I bought a Chanel lipstick and got 60 likes for it. Sorry for the Instagram references, I'll be getting round to explaining that in my next post.

ALWAYS compliment someone if you like a feature of their's:

If you're thinking something postive about someone, say it. Don't waste a positive thought, put that good energy into the world sista.

Always keep money in your phone case:
 

Helpful tip from me to you. I keep £20 in mine always and it's saved my skin on many occasions.


People can be genuinely nice and loving towards you without wanting something in return:
 

I find this a weird concept still. Instead of being scared when people are friendly, embrace it.


Be nice to utterly everyone just because you can; don’t expect anything in return:
 

This is incredibly important. Treat those how you want to be treated.

When you feel life is boring, instead of complaining, learn a new skill:
 

This is one of the most helpful things I can possibly tell you. It has the potential to make life more interesting and make you feel more fulfilled. I took up a hobby as simple as photography, this I can even do in bed. I love it more and more each day. Now whenever I feel bored or upset, I turn to my favourite hobby.
Not this type of 'skill'. *


Be versatile & able to adapt:
 

Change is always going to happen, and I find it's mainly for the worst but that's okay; because sometimes that does bring some good. Don't be too hard on yourself when change does come, ride the wave dude, adapt quick and see where it takes you.


Be as understanding as possible of your parents when they’re upset – They’re human too:
 
One day you may be a parent, and surely you'll want your kids to be as understanding as possible, especially when you're upset or angry at them.


Just because Father Christmas may becoming less magical each year – you can still make it as magical as possible:

There are still ways to enjoy and feel that magical you used to feel when you were 4. I promise. Find them.
Try avoiding this *



Everything is beautiful – Enjoy everything:
 
Absolutely everything has some sort of beauty, once you start seeing this your life will change drastically.


Sometimes you’ll lose your appetite for music – This will make you love it more:


Being an avid avid music lover, I was shocked to realise a few months ago that I had completely lost my love for music. Completely. I didn't feel like listening to anything and 98% of music became boring. I've realised that because of this, whenever my past favourite songs are played whilst in the shower or with friends, a fire starts within ma belly (pronounced bell-eh). The music becomes so much more special and I wish to reassure anyone who had/has the same problem I did; you're guna groove again one day sista.


People will boast and be ungrateful - Hope that they will mature one day:


Odds are they probably won't, but people can change so be compassionate and as hopeful as possible.



Sometimes you will lose your appetite for life – You will want to get out of bed again one day: 

If you ever lose your motivation to live your life and feel like you're never going to move beyond your bedroom again, I can assure you that you will. There are amazing things out there, and you will want to be present in the world to experience them. Allow yourself to have those bad demotivated days, weeks, but remember to pick yourself back up when ready. You have so much more to achieve, do it for yourself not for anyone else. You deserve that feeling of accomplishment, even if it's just turning up for one lecture/lesson at school.


It feels incredibly nice to get some lessons I have learnt the hard way out to you guys. Some may be useless, but at least I know the money in the phone case advice isn't. I hope this helps or motivates or changes maybe even one person's view towards life. Have you learnt any of these lessons or similar? Would you recommend any of the advice to others? I'd love to hear about any experiences or even any advice for myself! Thank you for reading my little feature, may you have a happy happy new year and I will see you soon!

All my love,






Email: eleanorpoppyfield@gmail.com

P.S Is anyone else having problems with their blogger and its fonts? Basically doing the complete opposite to what you set/ask it to do? AKA taking for ever to write a single post arghhh. Thanks!

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4 comments

  1. Very wise advice. I can relate with the anxiety. Starting my blog was a big step out of my comfort zone as well.

    http://emiladetheblog.blogspot.com/

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  2. This is a gorgeous post, you're a wise gorgeous thing aren't you? I can't wait to see your youtube start up now, and I'm so glad you're more comfortable with comments and so on :) I totally agree with you on the compliments points, I always try to let people know when I like what they're wearing or something they've said or so on because I know it would brighten my day. I hope you have a fab 2015 lovely, you deserve it!
    Bethany x
    curiousclaptrap.blogspot.dk

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  3. hi lovely post x
    I've nominated you to take part in the Liebster Awards xx http://connieflower.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/i-have-been-nominated-by-rachel-and.html

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