Update

Apologies for being so distant in the blogging world. That's if anyone noticed my lack of blogging of course, which I doubt they did.

I have many a post planned and frankly I wish I could get my act together and write them all.
However many an obstacle stand in my way, 60% which are in my head I think.  

I can admit I am not officially diagnosed (yet, I am finally building the courage to get help) although I am on medication for both depression and anxiety, they are destroying my motivation and want to blog. Mainly my motivation to lead a normal everyday life; my depression is making my life quite grey and making me want to make no effort to leave my room. Which is particularly frustrating.
I shall write a further post on this at some point, but my mind has very much turned me into a Negative Nancy.

I convince myself that my blog is awful, pointless and very worthless and unfortunately my mind makes me become distant. It's a huge reason why I never answer positive feedback, I feel like I'm not worth it.
I am trying to change this because gosh I love writing and creating with words.

I shall not let my mind ruin my blog.

I just wanted to get this out there so those can at least try to understand my distant nature currently. I feel a little hopeless but I'll be on my feet again soon.

I'm incredibly stressed out about College (which starts Monday). The College is giving me a lot of hassle over my illnesses. A Sigmoidoscopy on Tuesday which I have to prepare for Sunday onwards, which will be painful. 

I am in a lot of pain, especially abdominal and nerve due to my recent adventures and due to be in even more next week; so apologies in advanced for being so negative. Especially posting no Pick Me Up this week.

I am so sorry for the negativity in this post, I don't like being negative on my blog at all. I want to spread good and happy vibes always.

I love you all and hope you are in the best of health.

Speak soon Sunshines,

Poppy x  

2 comments

  1. Poppy you're blog is amazing! I always get super excited when I see a post from you in my bloglovin feed! Please don't ever think it isn't good because it is one of my favourites! Loads of love, Chloe xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Poppy! I'll just say firstly that I LOVE your blog - I've been reading it for a while but have only just (blame ME for that!) been able to say a proper hello! I'm so sorry to hear that you've been having such a tough time of it recently. Chronic illness is so hard to deal with - and even more so when anxiety and depression decide to join in too! I really hope things start to look up for you soon, and I'm so glad to hear that you've been starting to seek out the help you deserve :) And as for the negativity (which I don't think is even negativity so please don't worry!) I think that it's actually a really positive thing to admit when things are particularly hard - and that this is what the whole "spoonie" online community is all about really, as somewhere to be able to get support and to hopefully be able to find a little positivity in each other when it seems to be hiding in day-to-day life. I'm certainly very impressed and encouraged by your honesty - it's something I find really hard!

    Sending big hugs and hoping that things will get much easier for you soon (and that your Sigmoidoscopy goes well, too - I've never heard of those before but just by the name it sounds painful!) Also hope that your college gets off your back a bit (or a lot) - being a student with chronic health conditions is hard enough on its own without all the hassle! Feel free to message me on Instagram/email/Facebook/anything really if you'd ever like a chat! :)

    Katharine
    xxxx

    www.katharineandME.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete